Muñecas y Machismo

So it´s been a while since my last post. I´ve been having a blast and I´ve done lots of things worth telling but this post is dedicated to one thing...

YO NO SOY UNA MUÑECA.

No soy tu juguete.

No soy un objeto sexual.

One thing I´m looking forward to about being back in the states is being able to walk down the street without being called to like a dog. pss pss pss. I knew about the machismo ahead of time but seriously...I didn´t think it was this bad. And the things they told us in orientation are not helpful. In terms of safety in general they told us to sit close to the driver on the buses and to be friendly and get to know the guards in the neighborhood cause they´ll look out for you. Except that doesn´t work so well when those are the people making you uncomfortable and making you feel vulnerable/unsafe. Can you imagine a GUARD with gun and nightstick hitting on you on the street. I have no power in that situation, or at least I feel powerless. I have no options of saying or doing anything. I am in HIS space and he has the control and the power to do and say whatever he wants. His space being any public space. They also told us in orientation not to say anything to these machista guys because they will think we want to flirt or something. Which may be true, but it is still not right to tell a group of women to shut up and take it. I feel now that I can say something if I want but still have the fear of the consequences. Although, a friend told me a way to respond that I love ¨¿Se pinchó una goma?¨ so I´m looking forward to using that one day. Also, a girl in my gender and society class complained about a guard talking to her that way and he got fired. That´s power and I am so proud of her. muñeca is definitely the one that bothers me the most. I am a human being! not an inanimate object. I feel the need to avoid eye contact with men on the street, in buses, etc. and uncomfortable if someone even says buenos dias to me. I also feel like after 4 and a half months of this and having to stay silent every time I will be inclined to respond every time it happens in the states.

Identity is so ...here. Identity is important in the states and everywhere but it just feels so much stronger here. What it means to be a white woman here, what it means to be a black woman here, what it means to be a black man here, white man, indigenous, rich, mestizo, homosexual. My experience with sexual harassment, though valid, feels almost insignificant in comparison with the daily lives of women of color.
I am just thankful that I´ve met nice ecuadorian men here so I don´t leave thinking they´re all pigs. I´m also thankful I have extranjero friends who understand. And that I have some great ecua feminists in my gender and society class.